Sunday, August 31, 2008

Godawful poems 29

A final entry on this last day with Acrostic, and Haiku

Gosh! During the last fort night
Oh my! I have blogged bad verse
Darn! In a real contest
Actually, I dare not invest
With this godawful
Fortnight, I could easily test
Untrue or topical or
Latest news
For you, it might be jest
Oh! But if you visit my blog
Really, you must, I suggest
Newer are my views
In twenty eight best
Green Poems that were
Highly awful test
Truly I warn that you cannot detest

Really speaking
It was fun reading all awful
Poems, now Rest In Peace

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Godawful Poetry - 28

Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th - 31st August

# 28

Aah! That Godawfool fortnight

During this godawfool fortnight
I have sat under this godawful torchlight
Eating this godawful Samosa
That I normally have at every godawfool meet-aah
With that godawful alcohol
That is served with those godawful cola
After those godawfool burbs
I head towards those godawfool suburbs
I had gone there in that godawful train
And was stuck in that godawful rain
I would go there every godawful season
Even though I had no godawfool reason
During one of those godawfool trips
I had almost lost my godawful grips
I wore that godawful toupee
And went for that godawfool endoscopy
I thought I was godawful clever
Until I met more godawfool braver
He was there on that godawful blog
Blogging about his godawfool dog
Thats when I developed that godawful rash
And I had to make quick godawful dash
Even though it looked like godawful zit
This is no godawfool tit
I stopped caring about that godawful license
I didn’t want to be under any godawfool influence
I would have landed in that godawfool hell
Had I not rung that timely godawful bell
Surrounded by those so many godawfool grinners
I elected myself as godawfool winner
Cause, though all were godawfool dummy
I guess, mine´s was most godawfool funny

Friday, August 29, 2008

Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 27

Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th - 31st August

Learn to speak Minglish Bai
# 27

Why don’t you just speak Minglish, Bai
And change your shop hoardings and keep quiet
Just leave the bakwas there and take your side

Can’t you see the borders of my suburb line
Which is extended up to Dharavi height
Why don’t you just speak Minglish Bai

If you cannot learn from lengua guide
Then keep a tutor who is bright
Just leave the bakwas there and take your side

You say it´ s the lifestyles of Bandra you like
Then people of Bandra for you will be delight
Why don’t you just speak Minglish Bai

You will be deported if you strike
Or if you identify global logos/brands by their lights
Just leave the bakwas there and take your side

Khar, Andheri, Chinchpokli, Vikroli, Kurla, Sanpada
They all are boring and completely outside,
Why don’t you just speak Minglish Bai
Just leave the bakwas there and take your side

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Godawful Poetry - 26

Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th - 31st August


Face Book
I agree, I am logging night and day on this facebook
So what? You don’t have to pay if I am on this facebook

What goes of yours if I see my friends and
Bhai logs´ fotoos everyday on this facebook

I will even send them haftas and suparis with coupons
That normally fade away on this facebook

Sometimes I am reading and writing for them notes and
Merrily joking away on this facebook

I will poke them; give them pyar ki japki, I will nudge them
Even if I have nothing to say on this facebook

Scrabble, Rummy, Matka and quiz
Oh! The many more games that we play on this facebook

With such good pastime pushpee is thrilled
And you better Gap Bas on this facebook

Samja kya?


We see, you and I
Through this private eye
Being no more shy
Under this new dye

Technorati Profile

Nursery Rhymes

Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th - 31st August


Little fat Ganpat
Was learning Marathi alphabets
Mixing his ayes with kays
There came a Mumbai manoos
Near him, he did ghoos, ghoos
Gave him jhadka and told him
He was gay

# 24

Santa, Banta
Went to Delhi
To meet Mona Ghandhi
She couldn’t explain to them
The rules of RTI
Instead served them
Italian macaroni
La la la la la la la
Mona, Sona, all so funney

# 25

Jack and Hill
Went up the hill
To meet George Khush
And Clinton Mill
But they met Osama
He thought it was fantasma
And Jill broke silence with
Her loud laughter

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th - 31st August

# 22

I saw your post on forum today
I think I understand how you mean to play
There is something in the words you say
It changes the curvatures of my face

And it took time for me to know
What you tried to write so hard to show
It’s those silly phrases that you used
They changed all the gears of my face

After Google searching high and low
It finally hit my belt below
The cliché that you have used
Makes me kneel down on the floor

Why do you write so?
Why do you rhyme so?
You know you have no talent
Why do you have to put up such show?

Don’t torture me like this
Don’t behave like Krish
I can do without your love poems
If only you could know

Monday, August 25, 2008

My Awful Dog

Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th - 31st August


I am under self imposed curfew, my right hand is dressed
In pure white, tight garment and I am too depressed
I wave my hand to my dog, but he too, is not impressed
I tell him, it´s a beef bone, he says, but it´s not even fresh
Anyways, he is too full, having eaten a chicken breast
Now, too sleepy and not in mood to hear my sickly jest
If I trouble him too much, he might become a perfect pest
Then his barking will continue until I lose my fixed address
The neighbours might sue me for stealing their beauty rest
They will accuse me blindly and invent reasons to harass
I will not be able to pacify them even if I stoop to caress
The law suit will go on for years and make me very aggress

Beijing Olympics 2008

Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th - 31st August

# 20

Beijing Olympics are over, everybody is back home
Some with silver, some with gold
Some are back with memories to be told
Of various ceremonies that were performed on the poles

Nobody complained of human rights
They clapped for performers, who were dressed in lights
Everybody was blogging about those spectacular sights
While jealous people around the world called this a ´blight´

Visitors and sportsmen were in happy mood
Every half an hour they gulped Chow Chow food
Shaking their head, they said ´it was good´
Had nickname for every loser, it was ´hey Dude!´

Now Chinese are all lonely men
Twiddling their thumbs in their darkly den
Have not enough money to even buy a pen
Wasted it all on a golden hen

Sunday, August 24, 2008


Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th - 31st August

# 19

You put a right foot in, you put a right hand out
Then you chop a naughty troll who shows his head around
You go the boogey, doggey, then swirl the troll down
And then bury him under the ground

Saturday, August 23, 2008

hai wu

Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th - 31st August

# 11

Irresponsible lass
Puffing away her hard earned cash
On a cloud of black mess


Stingy Paul
Won’t spend no penny nor a dime
Eating steamed rice with a stale lime


Said one chair to another
Here comes bum with a sexy flair


Elephant had difficulty
Finding a wife, he needed a surgery
Of his dental spike


Red hot cigarettes,
Drugs and pipes
Friends of short lived Johns and Mike


Pregnant Susan went by bus
To get herself operated
She got stuck in a traffic jam
And found herself stranded


I am in bliss
I just had a miss
Of fowl breathed kiss


Shaft is bent, hands so sweaty
Whacked like a sucker, I can hardly walk
To be desired, a follow-through leaves a lot
Hold on, I need to wash my balls
And put them back into this golf bag

Friday, August 22, 2008

I dont need you

Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th - 31st August

# 10

dont stare at me with those silly eyes
time to say to you my good byes
i dont wish to keep with you any ties
you have told me too many of your lies
lately I have seen you with too many guys
sitting on their lap or sleeping on their thighs
pouting and breathing with all those sighs
hiding behind those colourful hair dyes
sometimes in your group of fives
drinking and swearing under those spell of highs
I would rather prefer that simple girl who is chi

Hike who

Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th - 31st August

# 9

Stains of poetry
leaking through those broken hearts
lovers suicide

Que Sera, Sera

Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th - 31st August

# 8

On a warm and sunny day
I asked BMC officer on my way
Will we see cleaner streets
Will you clear off the plastic sheets
Is this what he said to me
Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be
Your problems is not ours to see, que sera sera,
Whatever can be, will see.

Last week at Bandra East
For stamp duty paper, I had met some cheats
Everybody was rushing
Shouting and crushing
Then one peon said to me
Pude challa, challa, gardhi nakko, saheb ghari gella
Forms are finished now we have no more
Atta tu pan ghari challa, challa

Now that Bhindhra has won a gold
All the sportsmen have become quite bold
Everybody is practicing
Endorsing or bribing
Believing that even they can win
Pappu, Mona, Sona, chonna, you too can join in, Lolla
Their tutors and their offspring’s too, come on fella, fella
No harm in trying, Salla.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Skywalks of Mumbai

Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th - 31st August


There is a budget set aside of six hundred crores
For Mumbai skywalkers who are normally bores
Now they will jog to work freely in and out of city
On long blue skywalks without any self pity

The first one at Bandra that was inaugurated the other day
Was used by ‘Queer Qaadis’ who call themselves Gay
They inspected the bridge to see if it was strong
Their precious decisions are normally never wrong

It is good place for marching, there is no vehicular traffic
You can walk freely, carelessly, without the horns of autoricks
The elevated walkway framed structure with Polycarbonate Sheets
Are great escape from heavy rains during such ‘Queer’ meets

There are seating arrangements, steel railings and powerful lights
Comfortably they can scream and shout for their rights
The skywalks have escalators, landscaping, and garbage bins,
When tired from too much shouting, they can share cold beer tins

There is enough space to accommodate the road side hawkers.
Mumbaikars might enjoy even the live shows by rockers
It is great fun to be in the city that has so much to give
Non resident Mumbaikars are most welcomed here to live.

Some more on clerihew

Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th - 31st August

Some more on clerihew, a short humorous biographical poem

# 3

Sharukh Khan
What do you want?
Gauri, Saif or Kantaben
Whom do you prefer again and again?

# 4

Shobha De
Has a mind of clay
With filmy gossip and idle chat
She shocked George Bush that poor chap!

# 5

Ambhani Mukesh
Went to Rishikhesh
Bought lots of sadhus with his stinking money
And learnt their craft, now that was not funny

# 6

Ekta Kapoor
Was on a world tour
She packed her bags with letters ‘kay’
And watched her own serials every day!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Pest called Shobha Thoral

Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th - 31st August


Shobha Thoral
Was a member of my writer's forum
With her venomous tongue, and her nutty brains
She could dig her verses from her kitchen drains

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Poetry Party

Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th - 31st August

Although most of my poems are bad, I am pleased to write one for this special fornight.....Thanks to Caferati, it has plaform for bad poetry too....merrily I will use jarring or discordant sounds, happily I can irritate the good poets.....

There was an invitation
To the read-meet of poetry
Just two block away
From my normal route of loitering

I rhymed and chimed the verses
As I saw the poets passing
But none heard my poems
Although all were so classic

They didn’t even look at me
For that I was angry
I tortured them then
By spewing out my bad poetry

Stop! Said the poet
A distinguished member of that clan
Please don’t rhyme any more
You might ruin the party plan

Your poetry has no meter
It is worse than a broken disc
You might create a commotion
And that I cannot risk

Friends, come on over here
Bring six bottles of beer
Drain it down his throat
So that he cannot swear

Gulp! Gulp! Gulp!
Hic! Hic! Hic!

I was a good poet, hic
I could perform a good poetry
But they did not invite me
Those Gawd-Damn, blistering... Hic!

Monday, August 11, 2008

The Fancy Dress Party

The music reverberated in the room as he reached his hand under the pillow to extract the photograph and look at it once more.

This picture was a special one, although being one of his best shots, it still brought him pain. He wished it was he, instead of that person in the photograph, who was dressed in shirt, pant and black tie with his head covered by thin muslin cloth. He would have loved to relish her kiss through a veil and he felt a pang of jealousy as he stared at the picture of the couple, with their faces hidden behind the thin muslin cloth, deeply engrossed in their passionate moments.

He had clicked many more pictures on that day; pictures of his friends in fancy dress, some in odd shaped goggles that covered half their faces, then there were others with colour wigs, some blond, some red, and some with feathers. Fancy dress always added mystery to the party. He was happy when he was invited to the party as a professional photographer. He focused his lens on his friends and their companions and tried to guess the face behind their facades. He had not wanted to wear any special outfit for that party preferring to play with his lens and capture the moments.

He had enjoyed sitting between his shoots at the bar, sipping the martini and watching his friends dance at the beat of the rhythm. There was the combination of western and Bollywood music. It was during his third drink, that he had noticed her enter the room. He had recognized her by her red dress with a pink minivers. He had bought that dress from an expensive store and had given it her on her birthday.

“Happy birthday, Maina, I hope you like it” he had told her as he had placed the gift-wrapped dress on her lap, when she had visited his house to exchange some notes with his sister.

She had loved it, especially the smooth touch of the material, and had praised him for his good choice of clothes. He had never seen her wear that dress until that day at the party and her face was covered with a thin muslin cloth over her head. He was surprised. She had not even mentioned that she would be attending that party. Had he known that she would be attending, he would have accompanied her. And then, he had seen her companion, his face covered too, with similar thin muslin cloth. He was holding her in that special way. To hide his disappointment, he had hidden his face behind his lens.

For the rest of the evening, he had focused his lens on this couple, capturing their move, zooming, focussing, and clicking their every moment as they had danced, kissed, and swayed to the music. Their bodies moved together matching the mood and the beat of the music. He had waited for them to uncover their faces and had hoped that it was not Maina, even though he was sure that it was the same dress that he had purchased with so much love.

Later, he had seen them sneak out and he had followed them. He had seen them enter the powder room and he had been surprised. He had waited outside, in the far corner, on the couch under the dim light.

And then he had seen them without their veil of thin muslin cloth, hand in hand, Maina and his sister, who was dressed in shirt, pants and a black tie.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Bejing Olympics 2008

recorded the music
´Chak de India´
Just in case,
One of them
A bit faster
Than the rest
And gets one gold
Or more
From the city
That is painted
Orange and red

I see them all
Behind my plasma
Jay walking
Pausing a moment
You are right
They might bring gold
My country men
You see them there
Wearing smile
With desi dress in

If I were sporty
Or talented
Or rich
Or influential
To pull the strings
Of luck
I too
Would walk proudly
Savouring the limelight
But alas!
I cannot
And I am feeling

Later that evening
With family and friends
We betted
On their victory
With wine and bread
There were chops and chicken
And mutton and beef
But me
Being a veggie
All I ate was
The Greens

Enjoying Beijing Olympics
Coated with every hue
Be it orange, green, white or red
Or even if they have
All shades
Of blue


Tuesday, August 05, 2008

I Write

I write when my muse play tricks on me
Hiding behind the tunes of adversity
A simple thing such as smile, or anger or quote
Sets my world rolling into poetry

Friday, August 01, 2008


Smile adorns a thousand words
a dressy garment for every jest
With frills of laughter and of joy
There in no man who wouldn’t enjoy

It costs nothing, not a dime
But you can walk with it for a mile
You hold its hands of happiness
And shake off the dust of painful stress

He who dons a gloomy face
Will lag behind in happy race
An iron face with frozen lips
knows not how to live with grace

When pain eclipse the face of smile
Can pessimisms really explain the rhyme?

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