Letter to Santaji ....Merry Christmas!

Dearest Santa

Christmas has arrived and once again I wished I was born a Christian. I have nourished this wish since many years, I think I must have been five then, when my friends first showed me their huge collection of toys and told me that Santa had come through the chimney and have left so many gifts for them on a Christmas Eve. I had asked my friend then as to why Santa did not come to my house too and she had told me that he came only to those who celebrate Christmas. That was a day when I had first visited church to pretend that I was born in a family that celebrates Christmas.

But now I have learnt that you have become very open minded and do not care much about caste or creed and knowing your generous mood I am spreading my begging sheet.
Hope you will not disappoint me this Christmas. Dear Santa, this year I have not been a very manipulative person., I have not even compulsively lied nor have I helped my mommy’s special friends with their pyramid schemes and I always say thank you which makes me seem like I care and so I deserve lots of blank cheques this year.

I think I prefer the blank cheque because gifts that you bring - sucks. Some of the gifts that you brought for my friend last year didn’t make any sense at all! I mean what would she do with that sloppy red-haired guy who did pelvic dance all day, or, that toothless bloke, who couldn’t say a simple sentence without lisping and messing up the conversation? I thought he was spitting when he said ‘Today” Nah! Not my kind of taste! Just give me blank cheques and I will go for hubby shopping. A new mall has opened in my area and this has a special floor with branded hubby’s. They have some real muscular guys who not only make babies or escort you to the fancy parties but they also help at home with washing and plumbing. I wonder how much it will cost me this time. The previous one was too expensive and it was not even durable.

Don’t worry. I am very careful with money. You can trust me with blank cheque. I will not spend too much at this mall. I need only one hubby. Plus, I just need one nice, big car to take him around (preferably BMW, cannot ask for your old fashioned sleigh because there are too many potholes here in Mumbai and my hubby could break a bone or two..) and maybe, I would buy few diamond bracelets and ear-rings (what I wear can boosts my hubby’s ego and upgrades his status in the society, although personally I have no passion for such things.) That’s all that I want. Nothing more!

I will hang my pink stocking on my bedroom window, push the cheque inside and ring a soft bell.

Merry Christmas to you!
I remain
Teeny mini Not-too-greedy woman of substance